“Forgive you?” “There’s no way!”.
“Oh no, you forgive me first!”.
Have you caught yourself or someone you know saying those words recently?
How many times have you wondered how to forgive someone who has hurt you badly? Maybe it was your wife, husband, sibling, or co-worker.
We often times want to stick to our point of view, to make ourselves right and we are unwilling to budge one inch. It cannot only affect our attitude but start to wear on our physical bodies as well.
This can go on for days, weeks, or even years.
I’ll let you in on a little secret, though.
Come closer…it’s okay.
The truth is that forgiveness is not as difficult as you’re making it to be.
Really, it’s true.
In this post, I’ll share how the act of how not forgiving someone starts to affect our physical body and then a few tools that you can use so that you know how to forgive someone quickly and easily.
Not forgiving can take a toll on your health
WebMD wrote an article and cited a Hope College study that said that when people held onto a grudge towards another person, they had higher physiological activity that manifested as:
~ Increased facial muscle tension
~ Increased heart rate
~ Increased blood pressure
~ Increased sweating
The study also stated that people who don’t know how to forgive someone could be setting themselves up for possible future health problems, including mild depression to acute cardiovascular woes.
CBN News.com recently did a news story around this same topic as well.
Watch the video below to learn more about it.
The tools of forgiveness
“Out beyond ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”
Here are some tools that I’ve found very helpful in order to forgive those that have hurt me in my life. I hope they help you to find peace.
Non Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg – NVC as it’s also known is a way to communicate your feelings and emotions to others without blaming, judging, or finding fault with the other person. This way of communication also helps to get the needs of both people met so that there can be peaceful resolution.
Getting an Emotion Code session – When we are holding a grudge towards someone, we can often times “trap” those harmful negative emotions in our body causing physical pain, discomfort, and a burdened heart. An Emotion Code session can gently and quickly release those “trapped” emotions so that you can be free of your emotional baggage.
When that happens, approaching someone who has hurt you can become much more easier.
Oh, and during a session there’s no need for you to bring up or share uncomfortable feelings, memories, or experiences from your past with me.
If you’re ready for this, you can schedule a session here.
Meditation – It can be darn near impossible to try and forgive someone when our mind is racing with what they did in the past. Mediation is a way to calm and center our mind and quiet those negative voices. One on my favorite books on the subject is Turning the Mind into the Ally by Sakyong Mipham Rinponche.
So, what do you think?
I would love to read your comments below. Do you agree or disagree? What have you found helpful and what tools have you found on how to forgive someone?