3 amazing lessons I learned from trying to “fix” my clients

“Fix me!”

“This hurts, make it feel better.”

“I need you to heal me.”

As a massage therapist in school, I was trained in the “fixing” business and was thought of as a “healer”.

The story went like this…

A client comes in with a problem – tight shoulders, pain in their lower back, or a stiff neck.

They were looking for me to apply this technique, use deeper pressure here or there, or just work on this one area.

For a long time, I tried to “fix” them and often times at the cost of destroying my own self-worth and self-esteem if I failed to do so.

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This also created one disappointed client.

Eventually this led me to feeling burned out, exhausted and very frustrated.

I would like to share with you 3 amazing lessons I learned from trying to “fix” my clients and the golden nuggets we both were blessed with along the way.

Come from a place of “Fixing” or come from a place of Service

“Helping, fixing and serving represent three different ways of seeing life: When you help, you see life as weak.  When you fix, you see life as broken.  When you serve, you see life as whole.

The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others and the wholeness in life.”

~ Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.

For a long time I saw my clients as broken when they would come to see me for a session.  A part of them was not right, they hurt, or they did something (with awareness or not) to cause them to be out of balance.

As I mentioned above, when I came from this place and held this space during a massage session – clients rarely got better and usually never came back.

When I learned to be in service to them, I saw them reconnect with the wholeness that was always inside.

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When this happened, they got better.

These days, specializing in Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy, I approach every client session as coming from a deep place of service – and that makes all the difference.

Health is always present in the body no matter the symptom or condition

“To find health should be the object of the doctor.   Anyone can find disease.”

~ A.T. Still MD, DO Founder of Osteopathy

In massage school I was taught to focus on the problem.  A client comes in with low back pain, and you do this and that technique to loosen up the muscles so that they can feel better.

Sometimes this worked, but often it did not.  The client got little relief at best.

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I was so focused on what was “wrong” with my client that I closed my eyes to everything that was healthy or right with my client.

While it’s true that I do not “heal” my client during a session, sometimes it can be a challenge to hold our own process for things to shift to a state of Health.

By holding the Health as I work with a client, that is what comes up to be seen, felt and worked with. 

Over time, this Health gently melts away any tension, tightness or pain the client may come in with and wholeness is restored.

Be patient and respect the wisdom of the body

Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?

Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

The Master doesn’t seek fulfillment,
but not seeking, not expecting,
is present, and can welcome all things.

~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

When I did massage, I would sometimes try and force my clients’ body to release, change or let go.

I was impatient and scared.  After all, they were paying me to get some sort of result and if I didn’t deliver in one session what they wanted – they would never come back and word might get out that I was not a great therapist.

What my client (and studying Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy) taught me was that the body has an innate wisdom that knows exactly what to do to get better, reconnect with the state of Health, and return to wholeness if I just wait for my mind to settle and the picture to become clear.

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Now, when I give a client a session, I am patient.  I don’t rush.  I respect the story that the client has been through, what their body had to go through and how it’s now compensating to maintain the best possible balance.

In holding this space during a session, the clients’ body actually feels safe and heard.  When that occurs, then wonderful things can being to happen!

Your next gentle step

If you’re ready to explore how Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy can help you to gently release the after effects of a car accident, the pain of troubled joints or the accumulation of a stressful week you can schedule a session here.

What do you think?

I would love to hear your comments, ideas or thoughts below!

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